On Reading: The Challenge

The old challenge was a numbers game. The new challenge is about quality.

Oh hey there, November, hey there.

I would like to know what the heck happened to 2024 and where I was when it was flying by. I turned the last October page in my planner the other day to find a goal-setting sheet for 2025, and I just had to sort of sit and process that for a minute, because that was a little rough, y'all.

In any case, now that the weather is turning genuinely cold and there are more leaves on the ground than on the trees and the words "wintry mix" are showing up more and more on my weather app, I'm turning a bit more introspective--yes, even more than usual. I'm starting to think about 2025 and how I want to approach it as far as freelance work, fiction writing, self-care, and all the rest, and it's likely I'll share more of that in a few weeks.

In the meantime, I guess you can consider these weeks of rumination on reading as Phase 1 of the 2025 overhaul.

And in that spirit, having discussed the reading problem last week, I'm moving on to the challenge: how to recover my reading skills and--more broadly--reclaim my brain from the Internet.

The Old Challenge

Those of you who have been following me for a long time might remember that many years ago, I compiled a massive TBR list from about six different "you must read these books before you die" lists. I also had a list of 100 speculative fiction books that I was trying to work through at the time. The result? A list of 433 books that I needed to read to be considered "well-read."

I compiled that list in 2012. I've been slowly chipping away at it ever since, and you know how many books I've read off that list? 161.

Yes, that's right--I still have 272 books left on that massive list.

Here's the thing, though. That list only included fiction, and I've read a fair amount of non-fiction over the last few years. There are also a few things on that list that were entire series, like Neil Gaiman's Sandman books or the entire Outlander series. I read the first one of some of those series and decided not to keep going--they just weren't quite my thing--but I didn't cross off the title, because I didn't really finish it. Also, there's a lot of William Faulkner and James Joyce on that huge list, and I just don't think I'm sophisticated enough or Irish enough to enjoy either of those.

Plus--and here's one thing that bears mentioning--these lists did not include some really wonderful books published after 2012 that I think probably should be on them--books like A Gentleman in Moscow or All the Light We Cannot See or The Buried Giant or the Yesterday's Kin trilogy. I think the new fiction I've read counts for something.

The point of reviewing this personal challenge is to say--I've changed.

It's not that I am going to abandon this list--on the contrary, I just finished two books from the big list, and I started another one yesterday.

It's that I've reconsidered my approach.

Reading vs. READING

See, the old challenge was a numbers game. I just wanted to read all of those books so I could check them off the list to satisfy some weird need for legitimacy or street-cred or to prove that I can play with the big boys or something.

The problem is--in pursuing a list this way and making reading a numbers game, I'm not really reading. I'm just scanning words as fast as possible to meet the requirements of a self-imposed challenge, and unless the book really captures my attention and pulls me in, I'm not really getting everything possible out of the experience.

The real challenge, I've realized, is to improve how I read--to relearn how to sink into a book and give it my full attention and gain something from the experience.

The thing is, I used to be a good reader, back in the before times--before kids, before the Internet, before perimenopause/menopause and encroaching senility.

I used to be able to pick up themes and make smart critiques and deconstruct plots and analyze characters, all while actually enjoying the book, and now?

Man, that's all pretty tough these days.

But I think it starts a lot like my fitness journey started--at someplace closer to the beginning, where I can practice foundational skills and build from there.

The New Challenge

I think at this point, I can fairly safely say that I'll hit my goal of reading 50 books this year; I'm currently reading number 43 of 50, and I have the rest of November and December to go. I've managed to read at least half an hour almost every day this year, and when I've skipped several days in a row, it's because I've been traveling or we've had visitors. I think my habit of putting in some minimal time in front of a book has been reestablished.

The challenge now is to make that time more high quality.

I know I need to reclaim my brain from the Internet, and a big part of that is learning to control my phone usage. I think the overall project of reclaiming my brain involves more than just improving my reading skills, but I think it starts there--with the books.

I can put in the time and tick the titles off the list and follow the numbers game, and that's all valuable. To use a fitness analogy, when I slog through a crappy run, I still get some benefit from it, even if it stinks.

But I sure would like to have more great runs.

And likewise, I'd like to have more fulfilling reads--not just more time sitting on the couch with a book, but more learning, deeper comprehension, better retention, improved synaptic connections.

This isn't about becoming some kind of literary expert or book reviewer. This is just about me being dissatisfied with how my brain works these days and making an effort to recover some of my old sharpness. I've been thinking about some strategies that might help me do that, and I'll share those next week.

No matter what, I think I'll be spending a lot more time reading this winter.

See you all next week.